Science has shown us, time and again, that the subconscious brain is a powerful force when it comes to affecting the way we think, feel, and act. Thankfully, science has also shown us that there are effective ways to to tap into the power of the subconscious brain in order to positively impact our everyday life. This can be especially helpful during pregnancy and birth -- times when people often feel overwhelmed by extra worries, anxiety, and negative thoughts.
Today I'm sharing a tool that can help change your thoughts surrounding any circumstance in life, including those in pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Author and renowned life coach Brook Castillo's "Self Coaching Model" or "The Model" is a five-step _____ process that allows you to reframe thoughts and feelings in order to ultimately change your actions and results. Castillo calls it a "tool to solve any problem," and while she did not invent the concepts in the tool, she did craft a unique way to use them in everyday life.
The five components of The Model are: Circumstances ⇒ Thoughts ⇒ Feelings ⇒ Actions ⇒ Results. The basic summary says that circumstances are facts you can't dispute; thoughts are what you think about those circumstances (your opinion); feelings are how those thoughts make you feel; actions are what you do based on your feelings; and results refer to the outcome of your actions. Here is an example in action so you can better understand:
- Circumstance: Getting to an appointment 20 minutes late.
- Thought: I can't believe I didn't manage my time better to get to my appointment on time!
- Feeling: Stressed, angry, sad
- Action: Berate yourself for being late, distracted and distressed during appointment.
- Result: You can't concentrate in your appointment because you're so upset with yourself; the rest of the day feels bad and unproductive.
The Model takes says that changing your thoughts about any given circumstance, can affect your feelings, actions, and results. We have the power to choose our thoughts about a situation, even if it's difficult (and it often is!), and when we do, our feelings, actions, and results also change. Here's a revision of the above example:
- Circumstance: Getting to an appointment 20 minutes late.
- Thought: These things happen. It was hard to get everything done to leave in time. I still have at least 30 minutes for my time. I'll schedule a follow up call/appointment to get in the rest.
- Feeling: Compassionate, determined
- Action: Show yourself grace, focus on how to make use of the rest of your appointment time.
- Result: Cover the most important topics in your appointment and remember to schedule a follow up.
By simply changing the way you think about a circumstance, your feelings, actions, and results all follow suit. Imagine how this could play out for a variety of circumstances related to your pregnancy and birth, for example:
- Back pain
- Afraid of giving birth
- People commenting on pregnant belly
- Gestational diabetes
- Having twins
- Dealing with unsolicited advice
Imagine what your first thought might be about any one of these circumstances (or a circumstance unique to you). What kinds of feelings, actions, and results would that thought create? If your first thought was negative, come up with a more positive or neutral revision. Now consider how that changed thought could impact the resulting feelings, actions, and results.
Castillo says, "When you discover the underlying thought causing the results in your life, you become aware of how you are responsible for all those results. That awareness shows you how you’re already creating the results, which means you can change your thoughts to achieve different results."
Imagine if you could decrease some of your anxiety, stress, and worry in pregnancy simply by changing the way you think about your circumstances. To learn more about using The Model, check out Brooke Castillo's site, and download a free booklet that describes the process in more detail.
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PregnancyAnxietyStress During Pregnancy