I wish that well organized and regulated midwifery care, whether in the hospital or out, was the go-to option for American mothers. Why? Obstetrical training revolves largely around birth pathology and high-risk cases. Obstetricians are best suited to those with situations that deviate from the typical and fully healthy. Midwifery care represents normal birth, recognizing the fact that most births take place without significant danger or event. As a whole, midwives are thoroughly trained and qualified to supervise the progress of the average laboring woman, even with its possible complications. Outcomes and satisfaction are equally as good as with an OB, even with the less tech-dependent approach. Any desired procedure is still available, depending on your chosen circumstance. Access to further care in the event of an emergency is perfectly open, and can be at your own discretion.
I tried to do what I could, in this time, to support that ideal with my words and choices. When a change seemed necessary, I did feel a little self-shamed for considering an OB when I didn't need one. But I've decided that when we advocate for midwives, what we are promoting is a specific philosophy of care often associated with their profession. When faced with the following, what should I choose?
When:
Provider A - offers a large bag including sample pills, formula advertisements/coupons, and a bottle at the first appointment; verbally gives minimal advice in reference to proposed testing and procedures; does an ultrasound at every appointment (I'll admit it's fun, and assuring in the beginning, but really, truly, not absolutely necessary); and leaves me feeling foolish for asking questions or differing in opinion
Provider B - quotes study findings offhand in discussing the reasoning for a proposed procedure, as well as providing individual handouts to take home; appears comfortable in providing multiple options; offers insight into what I can expect at the hospital; asks if I have other questions; and sends me off with a packet of helpful information, and a few coupons none of them for formula
Hmm...
I was so on edge about this first appointment that I hardly slept the night before. It felt a little hard to believe that this was going to work out positively, as discouraged as I felt, but I tried. The doctor came in and we began the typical round of questions. 28 weeks. Had I been receiving prenatal care to this point? With Preston's help I explained my situation, why I was switching from a midwife, what I was hoping to find elsewhere, and how I hoped we could work together. The conversation proceeded with surprising ease and relief on my part.
I'll even say that he was fairly chatty, the best of that being the amount of helpful information constantly flowing my way. There was his acceptance of my opinion, his own reasons for thinking the same or differently, all without any particular pressure for either one to accept or reject the other's ideas. We were just taking the time to understand one another. I left feeling much more lighthearted and confident.
Let's take a moment for a BIG sigh of relief! So my doctor is slightly overqualified, ha-ha. I know that things may still turn out slightly different than I hope, but now I'm surprisingly okay with that. I can only worry so much more before I completely go nuts. I'm doing the best I can, in seeking out someone I trust to acknowledge my thoughts, respect my person and parental rights, and keep the discussion honest and open. I'm writing out a thoroughly referenced birth and newborn plan to go over. I have a doula. Other than that, we'll keep working together through this whole process, and then I'll know better the next time, I guess.
And that's the story. In other news, I decided to sit in on a local La Leche League meeting tonight. I enjoyed the evening; I just wish I wasn't so shy and awkward in that kind of setting. I do love being a part of women-centered groups, where we can all share the good, bad, complicated, and human and get a better perspective on who we want to be and how to get there. It's a lot of why I wanted to participate in this blog. As silly as I sometimes feel about myself and my story, unless we're all willing to share a little we lose out on a real understanding of the richness of this time, of ourselves and one another. Can we be our best selves without that? I think maybe not. So thanks you all, whose stories I've read, who are here now with me, and who are working hard to find where you fit in all this. I'm glad to be one of you. I have a good feeling about where we're all headed from here.
Published: July 18, 2013
Tags
PregnancyGreat Expectations