Eleven years ago, I was thrust into the world of high-risk pregnancy when my water broke at 33 weeks while I was living in rural Uganda.

I lived four hours away from the nearest hospital that could safely deliver my baby, so two friends drove my husband and me to the capital city of Kampala, where a proper NICU existed.

Upon arrival at the hospital, a pH swab and ultrasound confirmed that my water had indeed broken, and I was put on bed rest to see if I’d go into labor on my own.

Forty-eight hours later with no contractions and infection starting to set in, we made our way to the OR for a cesarean. Our precious daughter came out screaming but was quickly swept away to the NICU for further care.

Our precious Ketzi thrived and seemed to adapt quickly to life outside of the womb, but I still remember over a decade later how emotional that week-long NICU stay was for our entire family. 

Looking back now as a childbirth educator, birth doula, and lactation counselor, there are many things I wish I had been more prepared for and a few things that could have made our NICU time easier.

1. Share the Stats During Childbirth Classes

Discussing the simple fact that some babies need a NICU stay should happen at some point in your childbirth education process.

Seeing the actual number that up to 10% of babies might experience a NICU stay at some point can help prepare parents ahead of time.

Contrary to popular belief, the NICU is not only for premature babies. There are a multitude of reasons why a baby may need extra support and care in the immediate hours or days after birth.

2. Share Options Available in the NICU

Just like we love to share parent-centered C-section options, there are many ways that parents can feel more empowered and involved during their baby’s NICU stay.

Simple measures like being able to decorate their babies’ room, stocking their favorite snacks, or bringing comfort measures like favorite blankets can go a long way in helping a sterile hospital environment feel a little less stressful during an already difficult season.  

Also having a medical team who encourages and supports parental involvement is key! Parents don’t need to be afraid of their baby but rather encouraged to find ways to connect and bond with their baby as much as possible.

3. Support Practically in the NICU

Support parents practically, if possible, with meals, gift cards, household chores, or even simple encouraging texts.

One of the sweetest things someone did during our daughter’s NICU stay was picking up my dirty laundry, washing it all, and bringing it back to me at the hospital that same evening.

I barely knew the woman who served me in that way, but it was such a gift. The simple fact of having fresh, clean clothes to wear did wonders for my mood and outlook on our entire situation at the time.

4. Facilitate NICU Connections

When parents are open to it and perhaps a little removed from their initial crisis mode, serving as a connector to other NICU parents and NICU graduates can go a long way in helping their encouragement and hope during such a trying season.

NICU stays are often unexpected and emotionally fraught for parents. But with the right education, preparation, and support, they don’t have to be inherently traumatic experiences for families. Childbirth educators serving their students can make a big difference in making a difficult season feel less scary and more supported all around!

Lexi Zuo is a birth doula, childbirth educator, and lactation counselor serving families in the northwest Chicago suburbs. Her main practice specialty is in supporting clients with high-risk pregnancies. When not at a birth or teaching childbirth classes, Lexi can be found spending time with her five children, reading a new book, or spending time with her church family.