Many parents wonder what labor will feel like and how they will cope through painful contractions. “Will labor be too overwhelming? Do I have what it takes?” Since most first-time parents have never been to a birth, it’s understandable that these thoughts — especially when left unchecked — can lead to anxiety and tension. Unfortunately, anxiety and tension significantly contribute to a more painful labor!
Thankfully, this can be remedied before and even during labor. The following are two questions to ask for a less painful, more peaceful birth.
1. Where is there tension in my body?
Muscle tension is the body’s normal response to stress — it helps us avoid injury and pain. The body is working well when it recoils from a hot stove or an aggressive dog. However, unlike a burn or a dog bite, labor contractions aren’t a sign of something wrong. Quite the opposite actually — it’s baby time! Woohoo!
One way to significantly decrease labor pain is to systematically release tension in the body. Parents who drop the shoulders, unclench the jaw, and relax the hands will feel so much better during labor.
Here are five go-to places to look for tension during childbirth:
- Forehead
- Jaw
- Shoulders
- Hands
- Buttocks
Good news: Parents don’t have to wait for labor to practice releasing tension. Simply pick one place on the body, like the face, to squeeze tight, hold for 10–15 seconds, and then release. Repeat in other locations throughout the body. This technique allows parents to become familiar with the sensations of tension and release well before labor.
2. Am I doing labor math?
Labor math is when parents take current information, like dilation and hours in labor, to attempt to predict the future. “If I am 7 centimeters dilated and have been in labor for 7 hours, I therefore have 3 more hours to get to 10 centimeters … and there’s no way I can keep doing this!”
Just so we’re clear: Labor math does not exist, and childbirth is not linear! There is no way to predict the future, and trying to do so in labor causes significant suffering. The best thing parents can do to avoid this distressing situation is to bring the focus back to the present moment.
Here are five quick ways to stay in the here and now:
- Notice the breath (this is my favorite solution!).
- Take it one contraction or one breath at a time.
- Make eye contact and breathe with a partner.
- Reminders from birth companions that labor is progressing normally.
- Remember that increasing intensity means getting closer to the end and baby!
It can be difficult to prepare for childbirth, especially when our culture’s predominant message to new parents says, “You can’t do it, it’s too hard.” But take heart! Literally thousands of generations of women have come before and have done it, and you can, too. As Laura Stavoe Harm said, “There is a secret in our culture, and it is not that birth is painful but that women are strong.” You got this!
Lindsey VanAlstyne is a LCCE and has been in the birth industry since 2007. She authors Mother Rising, a holistic resource supporting new parents and birth workers in natural pregnancy, healthy birth, and strong postpartum. She and her three children live in Tallahassee, Florida.
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Labor Pain