Great Expectations: Liz @ 34 Weeks

Last week, I attended my last two births as a doula (for now). While it brought a sense of relief, it was also difficult as both ended very differently than the mamas had envisioned. As a birth professional, I see this all the time, and it's not always a bad thing. I tell families that the one sure thing about birth is that it's completely unpredictable and it will surprise you. Birth can be easier and shorter or longer and harder than you imagined. It can involve little to no intervention or spiral into a very medical event. Therefore, I prepare families to keep an open mind. I remind them that despite the circumstances surrounding their birth, they have the ability to make it a positive experience by creating a comforting environment, finding good support, and being truly informed about all of their options throughout the process. In addition, once they meet that baby, it's all worth it.

Last week, our family also received devastating news, forcing me to heed my own advice. We learned that my 6-year-old son has a degenerative disorder called myotonic dystrophy. It is genetic, so either my husband or I also have it and there is a 50-50 chance that all of our children, including little nugget, do as well, meaning that he or she could need lots of help at birth. In a moment, the beautiful, calm homebirth that I had been envisioning for months, vanished.

Then I started hearing my own voice in my head. We did some research, got a second opinion, and have decided to have an amniocentesis done. In a couple of weeks, we will know for certain whether or not the baby has myotonic dystrophy. While I never imagined in a million years that I would have this procedure done, it will give us a known amongst the array of unknowns our family is facing right now. If all is well with the baby, my midwife has given the green light for our homebirth. If not, we will go to the hospital best equipped to help our little nugget. Regardless of the place of birth, I will create the calm environment that I know is best for birth, surround myself with loving support, make truly informed decisions, and ultimately meet this little one that I already love tremendously.